Blog Number Sixteen: May 29th, H-Hole Army, The DaVinci Code Review, and Madonna (yeah, that whore)

As always, any questions, concerns, complaints, or suggestions can be sent to razorsedgeblog@gmail.com. ALL emails will read, disseminated, and laughed at by our crack staff before we answer them.

The contest is over and we here at the Edge have not decided a winner. We are still working on that because, well, we're a bunch of lazy, good-for-nothing degenerates.

Please go visit Rhayna, The Mistress of Rock's blog over on Live Journal as well as Georgia Writer's blog. It seems the two non-family member women in my life are down. Send them love and read their respective blogs. If you have a blog and want a link and mad props on this site, email the link to us.

Quote Of The Day

"You would have to live under a rock not to know this movie was opening."

-Paul Dergarabedian, president of box-office tracker Exhibitor Relations.

The two pics to the right are of girls whose names we don't even know.

Help us find out the identity of these chicks and you'll receive a $10 dollar gift certificate from Amazon.com.

The brunette in the jeans is a hot little Goth chick that used to be a Rock Girl. She's even more dreamy and luscious in person as the crew found out at the Rock Girl Gala a few weeks ago. What's a Rock Girl you ask? Check out the KISW website and find out more about these tasty little morsels. To see this pic in a bigger, almost 3D thing with the breasts, go now to the KISW website and click on the Rock Girl Photo of the Day.

The second pic is a one spicy meatball. All I know is this chick is Brazilian and hotter than a 5-alarm fire (cliches are a good thing goddammit!). I, John McCaurthur, have REALLY got to find out who this chick is, I mean damn! What's not to like? Long, curly hair, big ol' breasts, beautiful six-pack abs, and, we assume, a tremendous ass. This pic was sent to us from a friend to the show, so I have no fucking where the hell this pic came from. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Before we get to the topics at hand, a reminder about May 29. As a point of record, we here at the Edge are absolute complete marks for pro wrestling. And if you can't handle that fact, fuck you. Even if you're not a wrestling fan, watch Monday Night RAW on May 29, emanating from Tacoma, WA on the USA Network. You'll never know who you might see.

The H-Hole Army was the brain-child of BJ Shea, a radio God in the Seattle market, to thank his loyal, rabid fan base for helping him achieve astronomical ratings. Since moving to KISW, BJ has maintained these awesome ratings. This H-Hole Army thing breaks down like this: The more people you recruit, the more swag and perks you get. I, being the spokesman for the Edge, have joined and the goal is to get one-hundred recruits to equal receiving bronze dog tags and hang out in the studio with BJ Shea and the rest of the Morning Experience during a show. It would be awesome to go to the Holiday Hangover Ball in the VIP section if 150 recruits singed up, but getting any publicity for this fledgling blog, then so be it. If you are interested in helping the Edge out, email razorsedgeblog@gmail.com and we'll email you more information on how to fill out the application for the H-Hole Army.

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And now for the topics at hand:

When I received "The DaVinci Code" book for Christmas a couple of years ago, it single-handedly started me reading again. I was so into the story of Jesus marrying Mary Magdalene and the Catholic Church covering it up and the Opus Dei sect killing off anyone who tried to expose the secret. I was psyched when I heard it was being made into a movie. I became reluctant when Ron Howard signed on as director; I became even more disheartened when Tom Hanks, of all people, was cast in the lead role as Harvard professor of iconology Robert Langdon.

After seeing the movie Monday morning, I was left with one revelation: why the fuck does it cost so fucking much? One must take out a second morgage on your home in order to pay for a ticket to a movie these days.

Anyway, I feel as though the movie is an accompaniment to the wonderful book written by Dan Brown. The pacing of the movie was really, really slow. Tom Hanks was miscast because, quite frankly, I FUCKING HATE TOM HANKS! One word for Tom Hanks: OVEREXPOSURE. Sir Ian McKellen stole the show as sure entertainment value, and Paul Bettany is amazing as the albino monk Silas. I give the movie a 7 out of the 10.

In the next blog, we'll have more about the movie and why we here at the Edge think Hollywood is fucked when it comes to telling the difference between fact and fiction.

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*At ninety-five years of age, Madonna is touring again in support of an album no one fucking cares about because she is ninety-five years of age. In her tour opener in Los Angeles Sunday night, she wore a crown of thorns whilst crucifying herself on a glass cross according to an AP article on MSN Music.

"I guess you really can't teach an old pop star new tricks," Catholic League president Bill Donohue said in a statement Monday. "Poor Madonna keeps trying to shock. But all she succeeds in doing is coming across as a boring bigot."

Normally we would make some border-line misogynistic joke about the ageless wonder whore that is known as Madonna. Normally we would go on and on about not looking directly at Madonna's crotch too long in fear you might get sucked into the tractor beam, the limitless vacuum that spurs from that dusty vagina of hers....but we won't. We will maintain our moral high ground and not even mention she has slept with more men than American have purchased burgers at McDonald's.

But we here at the Edge will retain our moral high ground and not mention those things.

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*We borrowed some information fro an AP article found on the MSN Music website. It is linked above.