Blog Number Fourteen: Update On Kaavya Viswanathan, Barry Bonds, and "Commander in Chief"

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*Quote of the Day

"The government believes that this law represents progress, because it established the minimum quantities that a citizen can carry for personal use."

-Ruben Aguilar, spokesman for Mexico's President Vincente Fox on the new Mexican law that will legalize a small amount of "illicit" drugs like heroin, cocaine, and ecstasy

Before we get to the topics, we here at the Edge have an update on a previous post.

In blog number twelve, we discussed the Harvard sophomore intentionally plagerized her own book in order for her to further her book-writing career. And it looks like the internet juggernaut that is The Razor's Edge has finally helped to eradicate a cancer.

*In an official statement released Tuesday, publishing house Little, Brown and Co. cancelled Kaavya Viswanathan's six-figure deal signed when she was seventeen-years-old. The publishers declined to comment whether or not legal action might be taken to have Viswanathan might have to return the monies gained while under contract.

As we suggested in blog number twelve, the publishing house did get rid of this stupid bitch. We here at the Edge feel you should be unmercilessly flogged and beaten, Kaavya, with all the manuscipts of truly creative, unplagerized work that have been overlooked or tossed aside by readers at publishing companies.

You make us sick you stupid bitch!

How dare you make true struggling authors, who toil over hours and hours of research, endless amounts of late nights of creative brainstorming only to crumple up those pieces of paper and throw them into the wastepaper basket, look like complete idiots!

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And now to the topics at hand:

After all this time talking trash about that fat, slow, wannabe hitter for the San Franciscoo Giants, I finally get to explain my hatred and overall loathing of one designated hitter Barry Bonds.

I fucking hate, loathe, and want to see Barry Bonds die in a horrible accident involving a belt sander, flaming turpentine, and his yammer sac.

Yeah fine goddammit, Bonds is two away from tying Babe Ruth for the second-most homeruns hit in a career.

Bonds, if allegations are true, has disgraced one of the greatest sports known to man by cheating to make his own individual statistics and completely disregard his team's pennant hopes in any given season.

Barry Bonds purposely circumvented the system in order to become the best in their sport through surreptitious means.

In my opinion, if you cannot get to a personal best in sport via training, hard work, and determination and you have to inject a needle in order to enhance your physical athletic performance (ala Ben Johnson), then you deserve to die.

Or, better yet, you deserve to be tied up in a chair, flogged with several wet herring, and forced to listen to Nickleback, Britney Spears, Good Charlotte, and King Diamond until your motherfucking brains oozes from your head and your eyeballs pop out of your fucking skull.

Fuck Barry Bonds, I hate him.

Cheater.

Loser.

Have fun in hell.

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It's about time ABC got their heads out of their collective asses and yanked possibly the worse show ever devised for the television medium, "Commander in Chief."

After a three-month hiatus, the show came back to only be faced by declining ratings (6.5 million viewers) and a scandal involving a storyline that followed with and apology regarding Hyattsville, Maryland.

This show was the worse premise for a show and the worse attempt at trying to subliminally infuse politic and entertainment.

A short message to all feminists, dreamers, and pussyfied men reading this blog:

THERE WILL NEVER BE A FEMALE PRESIDENT IN THE UNITED STATES!!!!

How many fucking times do I have to say this? Women do not vote for women; in fact, women just do not vote! Men will never vote for a woman, unless the fucking bitch looked like Jenna Jameson and installed webcams in the West Wing so we can see her shmasturbateerbate, and dress herself.

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*Parts of this story was taken from an AP story written by Hillel Italie, AP National Writer, found on Yahoo! News. It is linked above.