Blog Number Eight: A Disturbing Dream, Misty May-Treanor, and the Bitch Of The Week

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The staff in gone, taking Friday off and drinking large quanities of Johnny Walker Blue and Don Julio tequila. The leaves me, John McCaurthur, to write this goddamn blog. College and pro football (GO COUGS!) cannot come any sooner with the Mariners' losing streak and receiving some of the lowest attendance records in the history of Safeco Field.

And because, I, Johnny Mac, am not just a giant prick ALL the time, I have added a new blog to the blog link portion of my site. The moderator is, safely to say, a good friend and a fellow Cougar. So check out her blog goddammit!

Before I get to the topics, I want to take a bit of a diversion and discuss a disturbing dream I had last night. I tried to interpret this with online resources, but I do not have any pot to smoke to truly grasp dream analysis right now. So I am depending on you, the two or three loyal readers of this blog from hell.

The dream went as follows:

The beginning was a bit hazy, but I remember driving in the dark with no headlights down a dark road. There was a passenger in the car with me. The next thing I know, we are swimming in an ocean, big lake, or swimming pool. The dream then switches to the two of us falling from the sky. I look over to my right and a little above me and my parachute is being carried by the wind above me. I yell to whomever is next to me, "Where the fuck are we going?" The person next to me says something to me I cannot make out that well, and then points through the hazy clouds the dark bottom. I yelled, "Is that the fucking ground or the fucking ocean? Where the fuck are we?"

Then my dream switches to just me walking in downtown Seattle; I know where I'm going, I know where I'm going to, but I am still lost. I feel so very helpless as I walk towards my destination. I then turn into a dark alley and I am in a dark room with a woman. She and I are kissing heavily and she and I are both nude from the waist up. We are both wearing underwear. After kissing for what it seems a long time, we start to masturbate each other. The strange thing about this is I can't stop but thinking, "This is wrong, I need to stop. I shouldn't be doing this." These thoughts are becoming more and more like someone yelling in my ear. All this time, the woman is having the best sexual time ever (Keep in mind in all sexual dreams I have, the woman NEVER has I good time; in fact, she wants it to be over NOW). I then wake up, aroused, and thinking I am still dreaming.

To break it down, I know water in dreams has to do with change and depending on the size of the body of water or the amount of water in dream, it symbolizes the extend of change in one's life. I know that falling is a symbolization of loss of control. What does the companionship part mean? And the driving on the dark street with no headlights? And the walking in Seattle? And the mutual masturbation thing?

Any concise, logical, comprehensive analysis would be greatly appreciated.

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Now on the topics at hand:

I have no bloody idea who the hell Misty May-Treanor is. All I know, from this pic to the right of this text I am attempting to type, she is an incredibly hot piece of ass.

I do not watch women's' sport because, quite frankly, I believe women's' sport to be the inferior product. Women athletes are not inferior, the product. Now I am going to be accused of being sexist (I have been called worse, like Californian), but when you have more people showing up for an Arena football game then a WNBA game on a consisent basis, then marketing directors must re-examine their product and either repackage it so it can sell, or delete it because it doesn't make money.

I also have a HUGE problem with the current marketing of women's' sport, in general. The feminists of the great country want female athletes taken seriously, but your have Maria Sharapova using sex to sell a camera, Anna Kournikova seducing pre-pubescent teen boys, and lesbians alike, doing spreads in FHM and Maxim, and Gabrielle Reece doing fully nude layouts in Playboy.

With that being said, I still have no bloody idea who the hell Misty May-Treanor is. All I know, from the pic above the text I am attempting to type, she is an incredibly hot piece of ass. She's the hottest female athlete I have ever seen. I want her to do a nude layout in Playboy, and then maybe I'll take her seriously as an athlete.

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And now, after a long hiatus, everyone's favorite segment is back: "Bitch of the Week."

For those of you who are new to this blog, every Friday, we here at the Edge will give out a special award to someone who is deserving of title "Bitch of the Week." The award will be given to that one special person or group of people who has contributed to an overall level of suckiness and downright personal shame.

This week, it comes to us as no surprise that the award is shared by the White House and The Epoch Times.

Thw White House is charging Wen Yi Wang, 47, a journalist for the Epoch Times, with harassing a foreign official, a federal misdemeanor punishable upon conviction by six months in prison and a fine of $5,000. And by Dr. Wang's employer, The Epoch Times, for not having the motherfucking balls to stand up to the White House in the face of this egregious act of First Amendment censorship.

In the press release the Times sent to the White House, the Times states:

"If The Epoch Times had known of her intention to use this event to protest, we would have seen that her press credentials were withdrawn. The Epoch Times apologizes to President Bush and the White House for Dr. Wang's actions."

Is it no shock to anyone that we, the American people, are being buttfucked by the same form of government sworn to protect us? The only difference between the current administration and China is George Bush and his group of good ol' boys aren't running over student protesters in the middle of the street......yet.

And, because of the aforementioned points, the White House and The Epoch Times (you fucking assholes) are the co-holders of the "Bitch of the Week." Have fun rotting in hell you Commie bastards.

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*Some of this blog comes from CNN.com website, as well as the Epoch Times website. Follow the links above to get more information.