19 January 2008

Blog Number Twenty-Five: Shadow Love and Random Thoughts

As always, any questions, complaints, or suggestions can be sent to razorsedgeblog@gmail.com. ALL emails will read, disseminated, and laughed at by our crack staff before we answer them...on crack.

Before we get to the topics at hand, WE'RE FUCKING BACK BITCHES!!!!

As you, the loyal reader of this blog, have noticed, we, the crew of the Razor's Edge blog, have been on a hiatus. Honestly, it's taken us this long to come up with anything halfway creative...but I digress from the failed attempt at biting cynical, sarcastic humor.

In ten months and four days we have been on a non-so much spiritual journey, we have found that, as previously mentioned in our last blog, change is a good thing. The very blog, in which you read currently, will morph into more of a slice-of-life blog more than a political arena in which to vent my absolute loathing and hatred for the United States political system.

Now, now, now, kind reader, before you riot in the streets against this decision of the crew, there will, of course be biting commentary on how our government has fucked up this land I love. My, God, there is an election coming up and, if that fucking bitch Hilary Clinton is elected as our next President (figurehead) of the United States, I, John McCaurthur, would like to be the first one to verbally cut her down and make as many jokes at her expense as possible. It is not often when an elected official has the possibility to become said elected official because of her gender, not her platforms (and I am not talking shoes here people).

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Quote of the Day
-Loki, (Matt Damon) "Dogma"

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I was the guy in high school that stood in the corner of a house party and watched everyone have fun. I saw the jocks try to score with the cheerleaders, when they weren't busy trying to beat the shit of of me. I saw the stoners getting high and contemplating why we were here and why the hot chicks never got with us. I saw every known classification of high schooler do their thing with me in the middle wondering why the fuck I was so alone, why I was never a part of anything, why no one gave a fuck about me.

I decided I was a shadow; you remember that guy or gal that was always on the fringe of every cliq or social group but never became because they either didn't want, didn't need, or didn't know how to fit in. I coined the phrase: shadows. Every person who stands in the shadow because that was their comfort bubble...their own island of tranquility no one could hurt them in.

As high went on, I became more and more "in the shadows," I slowly became reliant on stying home and avoiding going and doing the social things normal high schoolers did. I was alone, in my room, discovering writing and heavy metal and slicing my thighs with knives (I have the scars to prove it). The pain lasting a few seconds, but when the blood flowed it was exhilarating. It was similar to the emotional feeling of looking a stripper in the eyes, dead-to-rights, while she is grinding you during the best lap-dance you have ever received.


There were girls at school I developed crushes on; look at them so hard, and then turn away in embarrassment, shyness, or just plain humiliation that your secret would be exposed for your peeps to laugh at, ridicule you for your "shadow love."

Nothing is different now. I look at some girls and want them with such extreme lust, passion, and sexual desire the jumbled emotions within my celibate mind would flip a switch, causing the wanted emotions to turn into unwanted emotions and force myself to become more dependant on rum, tequilia, and creating an iron-clad front of isolationism and self-loathing.

No one, it seems, can save me...in the shadows I am content to stay.

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so, without further ado...from omegaman's bs ranch in farmington, new mexico, we bring you:

--random thoughts--

*one...the body of actor heath ledger was found in his apartment tuesday (15 jan 2008) from an alleged drug overdose. he was 28. he leaves behind his 2-year-old daughter, and other family members. if ledger's apparent drug o.d. is confirmed, that motherfucker deserves to rot in hell. he had a 2-year-old daughter, for chirst's sake!

**two...are you listening to that silence, britney spears? that's heath ledger being dead. this is what happens when you continue being a white-trash whore and NOT look unto the benefit of your kids. this could happen to you, brit. and then what are you going to do? cry in hell because you fucked up? and stop blaming your so-called "bi-polar" for getting you in the messes you have gotten in. STOP BEING A BITCH, BRITNEY! go to many rehab sessions, TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS, and, lastly, STOP BEING A WHITE TRASH WHORE!


***three...barack obama literally bitch-slapped hilary clinton in the south carolina primary last week, 55% to hilary's dismal 37%. is hilary done for? no, unfortunately, because women still flock to her in droves. i cannot understand why. she has no real or constructive politics as a base for her presidental platform, and she allegedly faked crying to win in new hampshire. i hope barack obama wins the whole enchilada, then hilary will be left trying to explain why her negative, racially-charged attempts at negative advertisements didn't work to secure a nod for the white house.

****four...arguably, tom brady of the afc champion new england patriots is the best quarterback to play professional american football in my lifetime. in that same vein, he is the biggest motherfucker i have ever seen. how, in one year, can brady knock up bridget moynahan, break up with her, and then start fucking gisele bündchen? he better win this sunday...or gisele is my goddammit!

*****five..."60 Minutes" reporter and all-around journalism god, mike wallace, has undergone triple-bypass surgery according to imdb.com. according to the story, wallace is walking around and his doctors praise the procedure as a "great success." we here at the edge would like to forward our get-well wishes to mr. wallace...a true icon in journalism.

******six...of course, dear reader, half-naked chicks will still abound this great blog!





--i'm done, stick a fork in me--

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Certain factual things have been taken from other sources such as msnbc.com, imdb.com, tnawrestling.com, and the like. Links have been embedded into the above text and pics.